It hurts to know my place on the stage of life. It's painful to know my own destiny is like a thread. And devastating to know myself. Can I truly walk the thread? I don't know, it's my first time trying. But it is up to me to consciously make the decision to step outside who I am in the present, so that I have the ability to be who I want to be in the future. I have to walk on the thread and test my fate. At least that's what I keep telling myself. Risk will always tend to feel like I can't survive it. And time will always seem to be against me. As if the floor from which I stepped upon before will not exist anymore. Onto the thread I must go, I have no other path before me. And that's true. There is no such thing as a the perfect moment to do anything. In many ways, life seems like an oracle. It will be the way it should be. I am just worried about what it "should be", and whether that is what I want it to be.
I have to stop believing that because of where and what I come from, I have no shot at fulfilling my dreams. I have to believe that my belly full of butterflies can still make the right judgments. I have to learn to trust myself again. And I really need to figure out why I stopped trusting myself to begin with.
Well I know why.... I have to get passed this. My gut is not good at one thing. But it's the one thing that drives me forward so much.
I need to be able to trust my heart again.
It's an endless loop in time that I am lost within.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment